Tuesday, March 31, 2009

China: Canadian Mooses Spreading "Lies" About China Internet Spying

A report on a China-based computer spy-ring was dismissed by a Chinese spokesperson as "lies" and symptoms of "a Cold War virus".

The Canadian group Information Warfare Monitor said in its report that a network, based mainly in China, hacked into classified documents from government and private organizations in 103 countries, including the computers of the Dalai Lama and his exiled Tibetan government.

Taking a leaf from the North Korea Public Relations handbook, Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang refused to directly address the allegations and instead chose to turn the tables on these so-called "researchers".

"Some people outside China now are bent on fabricating lies about so-called Chinese computer spies." Qin said. "Their attempt to tarnish China with such lies is doomed to failure."

"You asked if we will investigate or track down these criminals. I think it is high time to track down those people who've been attacked by the (Cold War) virus I talked about." Qin added.

Anyone majoring in PR should take a semester abroad in China and study at the feet of the master, Qin Gang.

In other news, a Tibetan monk was beaten to death by police in southwest China after calling for protests. As there is no independent verification of this report, we can safely assume that this AP report is nothing more than vicious lies perpetrated by Canadian polar bears.

-Steve Kwan

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